Gather round for another glimpse into the beloved traditions carried on from generation to generation. As we are highlighting Japanese culture this week, it is only fitting to focus on wedding traditions of Japan. However, if you’ve been reading along, you know we’ve talked about one of the most well known traditions already – the sake ceremony. So . . . diving in deeper, I’ve found some insightful gems especially for guest at a Japanese wedding!
It’s becoming more accepted these days to bring cash instead of gifts to Western weddings, but this is a long standing tradition among the Japanese. In fact, guests are expected to bring cash, and sometimes are even given a specific amount in the wedding invitation. The gift amount is based on the relationship the guest have to the couple.
So, exactly how much to give for a Japanese Wedding Angpow? The average is 30,000 yen (US $500) for a friend’s wedding. Traditionally cash is enclosed in an Angpow envelope called Shugi-Bukuro 祝儀袋 , and your name is written on the front. The envelope is elaborately decorated with gold and silver strings twisted and tied into a decorative knot. Japanese folklore says that the knot is supposed to be impossible to open. It is also important to take note of money etiquette. It’s polite to use new bills with no creasing, and it’s considered bad luck to place two notes in the envelope. They say things that can be split in two are bad luck, so often three notes are found inside.
At the reception, the Shugi-Bukuro is given to the person at the reception desk and you sign the guest book. Be ready, there could be another counter set-up to open your Shugi-Bukuro to check and read aloud the amount you are giving the wedding couple (this could be a good idea, just in case someone give an empty Angpow.) There have been cases recorded in the Chinese newspaper of unknown family with children “POPING-IN” to a wedding dinner and eat for “Free,” and others giving $20 for a family of 5.
After going through these Angpow checkpoints, then you will be direct to your numbered seat by the usher.
There might be more expected of the guest, but not to worry, guest are highly respected in Japan. Traditionally the Japanese bride and groom partakes in a ritual that consists of lighting a candle at every guests table which symbolically shares their warmth and light. This would be a great alternative to the formal receiving line at Western wedding, and a great way to greet and thank your guest for their presence. Additionally, it is not uncommon for the bride and groom to spend $50 or more per guest on the hikidemono (parting gift). These gifts are often tableware, home decorations, and sweets. In recent year, offering your guest a choice from gift catalogs are a popular choice for the hikidemono.
Inside the catalog are a wide variety of gift options…
You got your standard meat and fish…
Neckties and too expensive ball point pens… Pocket watches…
Even Saran Wrap, Ziploc containers, and dust busters…
Yay, gifts.
Couples today getting married already have traditional registry items, and yet we still feel obligated to go through the process. Don’t let Western traditions dictate your decision to request monetary gifts from your guest . . . you’re simply adapting Eastern flavor into your festivities! But do take the time to honor the guest in true Eastern fashion, as your guests are your honored guests for the evening!