Archive for July, 2010

Bridal Sutra | To Vidai or Not to Vidai, That is the Question

(If you receive our e-zine, you may remember this article from earlier this year, but I saw the topic come up on a cultural board recently and thought I would put it out there for all of you!)


(Geoff White Photographers)

I was on a cultural wedding board recently and brides were discussing the idea of eliminating the vidai from their wedding ceremonies. The basis of the discussion revolved around the idea that the “notion is kind of dated, so I don’t see a reason to do it.” Here are the top reasons mentioned to eliminate the ceremony:

  • It’s a downer to a joyous day.
  • With all the technology we have, you don’t have to leave your parents behind – cell phones, skype, internet, facebook, email, driving instead of walking two miles worth of snow, and of course airplanes.
  • Why on earth would you ruin your makeup – or for that matter, have other people ruin their makeup!
  • It’s too much to say good bye.
  • My fiancé can’t bear to watch me go through it.
  • We’re going to be back in a couple minutes.
  • I’d rather we play happy music and have fun.

Of course as a celebrant of cultural richness, I am torn between the modern world and honoring tradition. My initial reaction to this statement is NO WAY! You have to keep the vidai because it’s a nod to tradition and another rich cultural element. But part of me understands the global technological world we live in that allows us to reach out in 30 seconds to anywhere in the world.


So what is the compromise, where do we go from here? Paying our respects to our cultural heritage while at the same time embracing the modern and technological environment we can’t escape? The bride who proposed the idea originally on the chat attended a wedding where the bride and groom announced they simply weren’t going to do it, and instead played happy music and made it a moment of fun.

Since the reception is soon to follow, I feel as though we’re jumping the gun. And since the Ghar Nu Laxmi occurs the next day as a joyous welcoming of the bride to the groom’s family home, I feel jumping over this emotion disconnect leaves something to desire.


(timmster photography)

Yes, it is an emotional moment, but one to make us stop, think, and really be grateful for our parents and all that they’ve done for us. The answer lies in repurposing the ceremony, not excluding it! Instead of carrying out the ceremony as a sad moment and “imagining” we are leaving our homes and families far behind (since clearly they can pick up a phone or get you on the computer at any hour!), embrace the moment and ceremony as a reflection of pure and honest love for mom and dad, who’ve gotten you this far. Who’ve supported you and allowed you to grow into a beautiful woman! (of course explaining your new repurpose of the vidai to your guest is a whole new challenge!)

So what do you think?


 

Wedding Couture | RIP Dear Sweet Wedding Trend . . . You Will Not Be Missed!


So I’m on a bit of a wedding trend kick this week. And of course, I am not the only one with an opinion. Erin from the Home Sweet Haselton blog chimed in recently with her own opinions on some wedding trends she thinks have run there course. While I may not exactly agree with the flip-flop point (after all, 8 hours in high heels can be a bit much), I can certainly respect her opinion on the subject.

Let me say this before I get on any soap box–I do not mean to offend anyone, as we all have our own opinions, and the list appearing below is just my own idea of what has run its course in the wedding world. Somebody had to put an end to flower crowns in the 80s, right?

Weddings are trendy. It is a truth that many women may want to ignore, but generally, most weddings this decade all have similar elements, just as those did in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. Why reinvent the wheel? I understand it. Wedding blogs and websites have never been so popular these days, and with the onset of social media and the surplus of crazies in this world, there are some broads that try to steal other people’s weddings. Now that is just plain bizarre, but I digress.

I think most women tend to take elements from other weddings and file them away because we plan them since we’re old enough to realize the Best Day Ever comes with a pouffy white dress. I did it. I remember thinking Kelly Kapowski’s wedding dress from the Las Vegas made for tv movie of “Saved by the Bell” would be mine. By the time you are of marrying age, you have an entire collection of weddings ideas from the past decade…that may or may not be appropriate.

As I mentioned in my professional disclaimer, there are some trends that need to be put to rest. We are past the mid-point for 2010 and I think it’s time to start branching into new territory, and flexing our creative muscles.

Again, sorry if I offend you. These things have just run their course. What do I know anyway?

Bridesmaids wearing flip flops. I don’t even find this ok on the beach. Let them go barefoot. They’d walk on coals for you (theoretically, why not put them up to challenge?) It’s a wedding, a time to look your best, and Old Navy thongs paired with a J. Crew dress that they spent $150 bucks to wear once, lacks the formality. Sure, you can have a casual wedding, but thongs=casual. Thongs=beach while wearing bathing suit or footwear for running errands. Shoes polish and outfit and frankly will be worn more than the dress (yes, it’s true, get over it) and you won’t hate your pictures later. I am not advocating for heels here either-find a nice pair of flat sandals (hello, Steve Madden) but not a rainbow sherbert of Old Navy footwear.

Candy bars/buffets. Somewhere 3,000,000 people are gasping. They have had their heyday. I can appreciate them from a planner’s perspective when they have colored elements to tie in the wedding, but otherwise, it’s just a tired trend people are coming to expect.

Favors. Maybe if someone starts handing out Andrew Jacksons in bow ties I’ll renig this one, but through my earlier life as a wedding coordinator, I can’t tell you how many of these were left at the end of a wedding and thrown away. Would you really want a shotglass etched with a picture of two random people? Splurge on enhancing your food or keep your DJ longer. Or here’s a shocking idea-SAVE IT.

Like I said, these are just trends I’d like to see reinvented as we move into 2011. I hope the one person reading this that wore flip flops, enjoyed her candy buffet, and handed out monogrammed toothbrushes doesn’t lash out at me.

So at what point do you think a wedding trend has run its course? Does it take decades, day or seconds? What trends would you like to see fade into the distance? Is there a current trend that you see at every wedding you go to you want to run screaming the moment you see it? Chime in, I’d love to know.


 

Cultural Couture | Vidai Ceremony

Practically everyone dreams of getting married someday to someone. After an individual attains maturity the wait for that perfect individual starts. Some people are lucky to be blessed by the feeling of love while the others wait further, to meet that someone special.


When witness an Indian Wedding Ceremony, you might be a bit overwhelmed by the diverse shades of customs, religion and beliefs that these ceremonies offer. Called Panigrahana in Sanskrit and Vivah in Hindi, Indian weddings are a special affair, to say the least. In Indian culture, marriage is considered to be a union of two souls. Deemed a sacred affair, it is believed that marriage extends beyond a single life time and continues up to seven lives. The auspicious ceremony of marriage is taken to be 13th out of a total of 16 ceremonies in one’s life. Indian marriages are solemnized according to the VEDAS, Hindu religion’s sacred scriptures. Most of these Indian wedding rituals have regional traditions as their base. However, the common tie amongst all these wedding rituals is the fun as well as the excitement which form an integral part. One of the important Post Wedding Ceremonies is the Vidai Ceremony.

The Vidai Ceremony takes place after the seven pheras and kanyadaan and symbolized reaching the end of the marriage. Emotions run high during this ceremony and it is not uncommon to find the bride’s family members along with her friends and relatives very sentimental. The Vidai Ceremony symbolized a new journey for the bride as she departs from her parent’s house to go with her husband. Because of that, is brings both joy and sorrow for the bride. During the Viadi, the bride’s father formally gives away his daughter to her husband and asks him to protect and take care of his daughter.


During the vidai ceremony the bride is accompanied by her parents and associates, which lead her outside the doorstep of the house, or in more modern occasions, a doorway of the ceremony site. Before crossing the doorstep, she throws back three handfuls of rice and coins over her head, into the house. This symbolizes that the bride is repaying her parents for all that they have given her so far.

The fun side of the Vidai happens as the sister in-laws bargaining with the groom. A part of the Indian wedding ceremony is hiding the groom’s shoes subsequent to the marriage ceremony. Generally, the onus of this task rests on the shoulders of the sister in-laws. The sister in-laws, also called saalis, get a variety of gifts like kalichari, a ring made of gold or silver, cash or some other gifts in kind for returning the groom’s shoes.

Nevertheless, the focus of Indian Vidai is on the bride. As she leaves her parent’s home, she hugs her friends and family members. Touching the feet of the elderly and seeking their blessings is also a part of Vidai. As the bride steps out of the entrance of her house, she throws back a few handfuls of rice over the head as a sign of opulence and wealth. This custom suggests that she is paying her parents back whatever they have given her over the years. At the same time, she is also praying for the prosperity to flourish in this house which was her abode since her birth.

In the final stages of the Vidai, the newlywed couple sits in the car. The brothers and cousins of the brides give a bit of push to the car. It signifies the fact that they have given their sister a push ahead in her new life. Once the last car of the convoy starts, the bride’s family and friends throw coins on the road to thrust aside the evil.

Touching rituals that reflect on the transitions of life, I think they’re beautiful, albeit sad.

 

Wedding Couture |Don’t Be a Slave to the Trend – 5 Simple Tips

Wedding trends are exciting and keep any industry on their toes. Color of the year, latest in couture fashion, one shouldered gowns, colored shoes, signature drinks, the list is never ending. And not to be out done, the trends in makeup and hair are making a stronger and stronger appearance for the trendy bride.

But, trends are not always translatable, or even a good idea. Don’t get me wrong! I love the hottest fashion and the latest craze, but do you really want to look back at your wedding 20 years from now and regret your appearance?

The Knot brought use a fantastic 2011 wedding makeup and hair trend video. Check it out.

Wedding trends do’s and don’ts:

  • Don’t do it just cause it’s being done. Many of the fashion designers chose an ultra natural look for their brides walking the aisle on their runway shows. With the spotlight on the designers dresses, this trend is ok, but for your wedding day . . . not the best idea. Many of the models hide behind the dress, fading into the background while you focus on the design of the dress, but for your wedding day, the focus is YOU, not the dress. If you are being upstaged by your gown on the wedding day just because you are following the “trend” of the all natural makeup look, your precious memories will sing the praises of your designer, not you.
  • Do pick a few trends to incorporate into your day so they stand out as the highlight, not the overload. Even if you’re a more traditional bride who wants to stick to tradition, adding a little flair, a little spice to your traditional wedding will have your guest talking about it for days.
  • Don’t wear your bouquet in your hair. Enough said!!
  • Do be inspired by a trend. You don’t have to use a trend literally; sometimes the best interpretation of a trend has a unique twist that is uniquely yours. Instead of the whole bouquet in your hair, just select a few perfectly placed beauties!
  • Don’t go without makeup. While I will always encourage you to have your makeup done professionally that day (you will thank me when you look at your pictures), don’t get caught up in the trend of wearing minimal makeup. It will not translate in pictures and you will end up looking washed out and blasé, not the look any bride is going for on her big day!

 

Wedding Sutra | Sri Lankan Beauty

Since we touched a little yesterday on Sri Lankan weddings, finding this masterful camera work couldn’t have come at a better time. If you live on the west coast, you know Robles Video. Well versed and centered in the South Asian community, they never fail to capture the moments and deliver stunning displays. Enjoy this jewel of a wedding, through video, probably the medium ever!

I just love the color combination in the wedding, so I had to share a photo or two from Global Photography!

Global Photography - Full Circle Eventi

Downright stunning, right?!


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