(If you receive our e-zine, you may remember this article from earlier this year, but I saw the topic come up on a cultural board recently and thought I would put it out there for all of you!)

(Geoff White Photographers)

I was on a cultural wedding board recently and brides were discussing the idea of eliminating the vidai from their wedding ceremonies. The basis of the discussion revolved around the idea that the “notion is kind of dated, so I don’t see a reason to do it.” Here are the top reasons mentioned to eliminate the ceremony:

• It’s a downer to a joyous day.
  
• With all the technology we have, you don’t have to leave your parents behind – cell phones, skype, internet, facebook, email, driving instead of walking two miles worth of snow, and of course airplanes.
  
• Why on earth would you ruin your makeup – or for that matter, have other people ruin their makeup!
  
• It’s too much to say good bye.
  
• My fiancé can’t bear to watch me go through it.
  
• We’re going to be back in a couple minutes.
  
• I’d rather we play happy music and have fun.
  

Of course as a celebrant of cultural richness, I am torn between the modern world and honoring tradition. My initial reaction to this statement is NO WAY! You have to keep the vidai because it’s a nod to tradition and another rich cultural element. But part of me understands the global technological world we live in that allows us to reach out in 30 seconds to anywhere in the world.

So what is the compromise, where do we go from here? Paying our respects to our cultural heritage while at the same time embracing the modern and technological environment we can’t escape? The bride who proposed the idea originally on the chat attended a wedding where the bride and groom announced they simply weren’t going to do it, and instead played happy music and made it a moment of fun.

Since the reception is soon to follow, I feel as though we’re jumping the gun. And since the Ghar Nu Laxmi occurs the next day as a joyous welcoming of the bride to the groom’s family home, I feel jumping over this emotion disconnect leaves something to desire.

(timmster photography)

Yes, it is an emotional moment, but one to make us stop, think, and really be grateful for our parents and all that they’ve done for us. The answer lies in repurposing the ceremony, not excluding it! Instead of carrying out the ceremony as a sad moment and “imagining” we are leaving our homes and families far behind (since clearly they can pick up a phone or get you on the computer at any hour!), embrace the moment and ceremony as a reflection of pure and honest love for mom and dad, who’ve gotten you this far. Who’ve supported you and allowed you to grow into a beautiful woman! (of course explaining your new repurpose of the vidai to your guest is a whole new challenge!)

So what do you think?